about
INNOVATION AND CRAFTSMANSHIP
Our Story
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You miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take.
COMPANY CEO
Vincent Reynolds
WHY CHOOSE US
95 Years of Experience
Our founders, staff, independent contractors, and sub-contractors have a combined 95 years1 of experience bullshitting. Studies show that people that have done something for a long time have a lot of experience and there is no substitute for experience. A University Study2 from 2021 found that experience is one of the top five factors considered by consumers when they look to hire an attorney. Our team has the experience that you are looking for and our experience equates to results for you.
Trust
Trust is the most valuable commodity there is. It is also the name of the game and something we hold in the highest regard.
Quality
We offer the highest quality in the industry. No one can compete with our ability to deliver our investors record high profits. We can’t serve two masters, so we serve our corporate overlords.
Innovation
We innovate with blockchain and cutting edge AI technologies to deliver the future of equity and inclusion sustainable profitability corporate talking points.
NONE OF THESE PEOPLE EXIST
MEET THE TEAM
Vincent Reynolds
CEO – COFOUNDER
Oliver Hendricks
HEAD OF R&D
Devin Stevens
MARKETING MANAGER & DOUCHEBAG
WHY CHOOSE US?
Because of these lies that we have posted below.
2
NATIONAL RANKING
430k
ACTIVE CUSTOMERS
95
YEARS OF EXPERIENCE
SUCESS RATE
PLEASE NOTE:
The contents of this webpage are NOT real. This page is for entertainment purposes only.
- This number was rounded up to the nearest whole number for your convenience. The exact number of years of combined experience cannot be accurately calculated using “whole numbers” due to the nature of our staff’s experience and the absence of it. This number is for entertainment purposes only. ↩︎
- The term “University Study” is being used in the colloquial sense as in, “I think this is possibly a true and maybe one day some one will study this and prove that.” ↩︎
✴︎ wtf?
—01.03
